Friday, April 27, 2007

Sanjaya Understands Women!

Yes, we are still around to fulfill all of your Sanjaya wants and needs, however we have been so distraught over our hero's, and his Hair's, diparture from American Idol that we havent been able to pull ourselves together to properly send him off. Dont fear, we will eventually get to it, just not yet....

In the meantime, Sanjaya understands women, mainly cause he was raised by them, at least according to him. We find this odd because the producers of AI contsantly showed his father in the audience. Furthermore, we were astonished to find out that he was, in fact, raised by humans. For quite some time we suspected that Sanjaya was lost at birth, found by and raised by Red Fraggle:

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Let's Give Em Something to Talk About (WigofSanjaya Karaoke RMX)

So faithful hero and his power wig were on full blast this fine Tuesday eve. While Sanjaya should never sing country, or even thing about the genre really, his hair was lookin all fine up in that bandanna. That is, until we looked at it a little closer and realize that the hair was in fact covered up by a puffy fro-ish wig.

Some might not see the wig, but we do. Those others clearly do not know what they are talking about, and obviously are not an authority on the matter of wigs, hair in general, or fashion on the whole, but we digress. It isn't like picking out wigs is a god given talent. You can either spot it, or you can't. Perhaps we, here at HairofSanjaya, have had years of practice spotting wigs because of some close association with a person who currently wears a wig, and who has been trying to hide that fact for 45 years or so. What were we talking about? Yes, the hair. The Hair of Sanjaya.

Here is Simon making a face as Sanjaya crosses his path. You can see Sanjaya hoola-hooping his way in front of the judges, that's him over to the left. If you look at the back of his head, you can clearly see his darker HAIR underneath the layered wig.

And finally, we have taken a shot so good that we know it will become famous, so we offer you this in two sizes:

Damn, we are good. Unfortunately, we feel that after this week we will lose the Hair for good. Say it aint so!

Remember not to vote.

Friday, April 13, 2007

What's Next?

So what will our fearless singer do after he is voted off of Idol (that is, IF he is voted off)?

Here are some ideas. Our personal favorite is Siegfried and Sanjaya. We'd pay to see that in Vegas, especially if there are tiger attacks (naturally the tigers would not attack Sanjaya, his hair is just too fabulous to muss).

Thursday, April 12, 2007

So, Sanjaya Stays Again! And His Hair Too!

Enough of you people voted to keep our favorite follicle-ly blessed "singer" on the show. Way to go!

Here is the Hair and Sanjaya showing surprise when Ryan tells him to repeatedly sit back down, it isnt his time. We enjoy the slight curled look. It works now that the Hair is shorter. It is almost like a remix of the Secretary look from earlier:

And here he is shortly after Ryan told him that he gets to stay for another week:

Our favorite sister is here, reacting to the mixed cheers/jeers once it was announce that the Hair and Sanjaya can both stay for another week:

And finally, it is time to say goodbye to the Mole of Haley:

In some other news, here is our favorite TV Reality Quote of the Week. This week's quote comes from Dionne, one of the contestants on America's Next Top Model. Her statement is her reaction upon first seeing her mother, sister, and baby for the first time since the show began:

"I see my baby, my mom, my older sister, and the only thing Im thinkin is, 'What the fuck wrong with my baby's hair?"

And once again, all is right with the world....

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Besame Mucho (Facial Hair of Sanjaya)

This week Sanjaya sang Besame Mucho, a song written in 1940 by the great Consuelo Velázquez. Yes, we had no clue who Consuelo Velázquez was either, but we were familiar with his song thanks to our 8th grade Spanish Teacher who played various versions of this song as we walked in each day. It's true, we do speak spanish, or at least spoke. But this isnt about us, or about how Sanjaya sang his song, no, this is about the Hair!

Unfortunately, the Hair was quite understated tonight, however, Sanjaya made up for his shortened, curled locks by growing us some Facial Hair!!!!

This 15 year old look really makes us want to kiss Sanjaya a whole lot, or perhaps we are just taken by the words of the song.

Look at those kissable, hairy lips. We say: Mmmmmmm, Besame Mucho!

We believe that Sanjaya's hot sister, Shymali (here seen on the left), is dating Blake's doppleganger, who is conveniently sporting the Fauxhawk look from weeks past.

Have we mentioned recently how extremely hot Shymali truly is? While we are a bit creeped out at how much Shymali and Sanjaya look a-like, however, we are clearly willing to overcome that creepiness.

Sanjaya sporting a smile after the performance of his lifetime. We believe, as do all of you, that he will be around for yet another week, and we are so happy for that. We also hope that the Hair will return in full force next week, although we are a bit troubled/saddened by its shortened length.

We would be remise to omit Simon's comment tonight: "I'm going to hate myself for this, but it wasn't horrible!" This is Sanjaya's reaction to that comment.

We cant wait for tomorrow when Phil will be going home. So sorry Phil, but Haley's legs and Sanjaya's Hair will always trumpet your bald head and Kenny Logan's sounding voice.

Rumor's of a Good Singing Sanjaya?

According to TV Guide, on their website, who heard a Variety report, Sanjaya has been singing wonderfully during this week's practices with guest assistant JLo. We say "so?" Really, all we care about is his hair.

We'd also like to report that we used the word "Badunkadunk" a full 13 minutes before Matt Mitovich, of, used it in his report on Sanjaya and JLo. Yep, we are innovators!

Penis of Jason or Punany of LC?

Always wanting to expand our ever growing empire, we were considering opening a new blog called Penis of Jason, or Punany of LC, after hearing last week that a sex tape would soon be leaked of our favorite Laguna Beach/the Hills former couple. However, in leau of this news, we feel that we cannot associate ourselves with a racial and homophobic hatemonger such as Jason.

Unfortunately for poor, hateful Jason, he couldnt even get his slurs correct, calling Officer DePina (who is not black) the naughty no no N word, as well as the hateful, no no F word, and then claiming that he would have the officer's ass (which in our minds is a sign of his own tendencies.

Either way, we can't wait for this sex tape, and can only hope that he is as vocal during intercourse as he is while being arrested.

Don't Blame India for Sanjaya's Success!

In further news, India doesn't like Sanjaya that much. Amit Varma, blogger on the popular India Uncut blog put it thusly: "He's also an object of ridicule."

For more on India's feelings on all things Sanjaya go here.

What we find funny is that India's most popular blog is called India Uncut. Uh. DUH!

Hair of Katharine McPhee?

Apparently, in an effort to either steal some of Sanjaya's spotlight, or to not allow him to be the only free wheeling hair diva, Katharine McPhee does her hair differently at every chance she gets. Let me ask you this, do you still have the "McPhever?"

K Mac

Personally, I'd prefer to start a sight called "BaDunkaDunk of Katharine." Yum!

MSN has STOLEN Our Idea!!!!

Damn them, damn them all to hell:

Hair Power

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

We Hope This Guy Falls Off the Roof

We are sorry to say that some local djs are trying to get our boy Sanjaya booted off American Idol. To emphasize their point, one of the dj's, this fella named Justice, will be staying on the roof of a local car dealership until Sanjaya is gone. We say boo to him, and boo to Wired 96.5. Here is Justice on the roof:

We hope the strap breaks and a swift gust of wind picks him up, a la The Wizard of Oz, and he somehow lands under a house in someplace not named Kansas.

We are willing to stay on the roof of a local Wendy's to get this low rated morning show removed from the airways. We have always heard the rumors that anyone who goes into radio usually has a "face for radio." These rumors prove to be true by looking at this group of winners. The sad thing is that the photo of Chio actually makes him look good! He has a local tv commercial were he looks like a schmoo.

They have also started a website, Vote Off Sanjaya, which I suppose is their way of competing with this. Basically, screw them for trying to ruin our fun.

Since they want to ruin our fun, I say we should ruin theirs. Go to dj Justice's myspace page and pester the fuck out of him, or travel over to Conicelli Toyota at 550 W Ridge Pike in Conshohocken (although, it is actually in Plymouth....) and shoot him with a bb gun or something else that will inflict minor pain without killing him. We dont feel the need to be responsible for the death of an otherwise useless human being.

Here are some other 96.5 employees/interns who we also hate:

Some people are just way too far into this american idol thing....

Remember, DONT VOTE!!!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Cheek to Cheek (The 15 Year Old Greaser)

This week our man with the superior follicles was coached/encouraged by the legendary Tony Bennett. Yep, the same Tony Bennett who is 3 times our collective age here at Hair of Sanjaya. He was told to understand the song, or something like that. Honestly, we dont pay too much attention to American Idol, especially when Sanjaya's hair is on the TV. We are smitten with his Hair. We are told that he sang "Cheek to Cheek," so we will believe that, at least for now.

Anyway, here are the photos. As you can see, our hero went with the 15 year old Greaser look. It wasnt as daring as the Fauxhawk, however, the white suit he sported really struck a cord with our own fashion sense.

Sanjaya and his Hair meeting Mr. Tony Bennett

Looking lovingly towards all of you! Check out the Jeri-Juice. Just let that Soouuul Gloooow!

Dancing with Dame Paula. Are we sure Sanjaya isnt related to Skat-Cat?

Listening intently to the judge's critique. Simon: "Let's try something new: Excellent"

Sanjaya to Simon: "Welcome to the Sanjaya Universe!!!!"

We dont know what to expect for next week, however we suggest dread-locks or the French braid.

Binge for a Win!

As opposed to those sticks in the mud (and general fatties) who want to starve until Sanjaya gets voted off (and honestly, do we really think these people are starving themselves? Come on people, Americans lie. Yep, we do! We say we will do one thing, and then do the other!), this fella wants to binge eat until Sanjaya wins! Obviously, if Sanjaya gets voted off this guy will have to binge eat himself to death. The odd thing, he might actually finish his binge eating (Sanjaya wins) before those others starve themselves to death. Either way, we are routing for someone to die. Here's the myspace page: Binge for Sanjaya, and here is his oath:

Binge Eating For Sanjaya Malakar

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You could visit his webpage: The Famous Guy, or email him: We love the food hanging out of his mouth, it reminds us of why we love Sanjaya's hair

"Is he happy or sad?"

The SNL Sanjaya spoof:

SNL Sanjaya Spoof

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Song for Sanjaya

Some fella named Bob, in a bad wig, with a guitar. His hair doesnt compete, but he urges sanjaya to stay strong (or that's what we think he is doing, we didnt watch more than 15 seconds of Bob singing about Sanjaya):

"Song For Sanjaya"

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Sanjaya Holidays!

Surely we are all waiting on the edge of our seats to see what Sanjaya's hairstyle will be tonight. Will he be able to top the Fauxhawk? Is that even possible? In the meantime, here is one comedian's take on the Sanjaya experience:

Sanjaya Holiday Greeting

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And here is Eric Schwartz's other take on Sanjaya:

Sanjaya Anthem

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I suppose his shoes are off as a tribute to fallen Idol Paul Kim, the shoeless wonder boy?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

It's Not About the Singing, People!

Seriously, these people need to realize it's about the Hair, man. It isnt that we want to encourage people to vote for Sanjaya, or his hair, just so we can see more of it. We just want to see the hair for as long as possible. We strongly urge you not to vote at all. We can say that because we run this site.

We are sad to see Chris Sligh, or as we liked to call him (while his glasses were off) The Incredible Hulk. HULK SING:

Otherwise, if you gave him a set of boobies Id say he was son of Bob - Bitch Tits - from Fight Club (Meat Loaf):

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Bathwater (The Fauxhawk)

This week Sanjaya honored us with his most, uh, auspicious hairdo. Yep, he pulled out the Fauxhawk, to much success. He cropped up his long, black hair into knots and must have used a bottle or two of hair spray to keep it up!

After his performance, his hair elicited the following response from the only judge that matters, Simon: "Well, I pressume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight." Followed by, "Sanjaya, I dont think it matters anymore what we say actually. I generally dont. You are in your own universe and if people like you, good luck."

Truer words have never been said. Sanjaya and his Hair are in their own plain of existence. Here is the evidence:

What better way to keep one's self on a show than to prop up a fake mohawk!

The Hair up close and personal. Look at how the light changes the color of it's being.

Sanjaya singing his little heart out.

The Fauxhawk from the side.

This is how it was all created

and the complete profile view.

You Really Got Me (Bangs and the Crying Girl)

This is a feathered look. Sanjaya rocked out and his hair did him justice. Of course we dont think he rocked out, that is merely the opinion of the millions of fans who know absolutely nothing, but since these peons represent the majority, Sanjaya rocked it out!

Keep in mind that this is the performance that made the now famous Crying Girl, cry:

Dropping it like it's hot

a good shot of the back style of the hair, and an introduction to the crying girl

I imagine him up against a wall, either being frisked, or, something, else, uh, happening, you know, from behind, by a guy, with the hair being pulled

When Michael Jackson was still black

The Hair covering those sexy Stamos-like eyes. So seductive. Bob Kelly? Put that away

Aint No Mountain High Enough (The Secretary)

This is the hairstyle that gave us the idea for this blog. If you cannot see Sanjaya as a secretary with this hair, then you dont have eyes. Im sorry to be so crude, but seriously, with this hair style he should either be working in a small trucking office, or waiting on tables at a busy downtown diner.

This is the secretary look. Cant you imagine him in a tight blue power suit, complete with mini-skirt and white blouse, retrieving your coffee and paper first thing in the morning. Or how about the secretary taking dictation?

Again the glory hole, ball cusp look. Good technique though

"And here is your news paper sir. Can I shine your shoes or polish your knob?"

The secretary reaching that point that all secretaries find, the point were they will accept NO MORE! The secretary makes a stand

Make sure when you work the poll you lick the tip.

The Michael Jackson comparisons are creepy, yet true

Workin 9 to 5 to the beat of my own drum....

Waiting on the World to Change (The Flat Iron)

The flat iron was pulled out for the Hair to get this look. Not bad, surely sexy. Makes me feel weird really. Must remember that Sanjaya is a man/boy, not a ladyboy. No Ting-Tong or Tong-Ting's here!

Rocking the Hair Iron Look, the color is shown to its fullest and the flexibility of his locks begin to show.

If I didnt know better, Id say that the Hair was forcing him to throw up gang signs

I see Annie. Anyone else?

And here we see the Punky Brewster

Those beautiful bangs....

Look at the layers and admire the color.