Thursday, March 29, 2007

It's Not About the Singing, People!

Seriously, these people need to realize it's about the Hair, man. It isnt that we want to encourage people to vote for Sanjaya, or his hair, just so we can see more of it. We just want to see the hair for as long as possible. We strongly urge you not to vote at all. We can say that because we run this site.

We are sad to see Chris Sligh, or as we liked to call him (while his glasses were off) The Incredible Hulk. HULK SING:

Otherwise, if you gave him a set of boobies Id say he was son of Bob - Bitch Tits - from Fight Club (Meat Loaf):

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Bathwater (The Fauxhawk)

This week Sanjaya honored us with his most, uh, auspicious hairdo. Yep, he pulled out the Fauxhawk, to much success. He cropped up his long, black hair into knots and must have used a bottle or two of hair spray to keep it up!

After his performance, his hair elicited the following response from the only judge that matters, Simon: "Well, I pressume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight." Followed by, "Sanjaya, I dont think it matters anymore what we say actually. I generally dont. You are in your own universe and if people like you, good luck."

Truer words have never been said. Sanjaya and his Hair are in their own plain of existence. Here is the evidence:

What better way to keep one's self on a show than to prop up a fake mohawk!

The Hair up close and personal. Look at how the light changes the color of it's being.

Sanjaya singing his little heart out.

The Fauxhawk from the side.

This is how it was all created

and the complete profile view.

You Really Got Me (Bangs and the Crying Girl)

This is a feathered look. Sanjaya rocked out and his hair did him justice. Of course we dont think he rocked out, that is merely the opinion of the millions of fans who know absolutely nothing, but since these peons represent the majority, Sanjaya rocked it out!

Keep in mind that this is the performance that made the now famous Crying Girl, cry:

Dropping it like it's hot

a good shot of the back style of the hair, and an introduction to the crying girl

I imagine him up against a wall, either being frisked, or, something, else, uh, happening, you know, from behind, by a guy, with the hair being pulled

When Michael Jackson was still black

The Hair covering those sexy Stamos-like eyes. So seductive. Bob Kelly? Put that away

Aint No Mountain High Enough (The Secretary)

This is the hairstyle that gave us the idea for this blog. If you cannot see Sanjaya as a secretary with this hair, then you dont have eyes. Im sorry to be so crude, but seriously, with this hair style he should either be working in a small trucking office, or waiting on tables at a busy downtown diner.

This is the secretary look. Cant you imagine him in a tight blue power suit, complete with mini-skirt and white blouse, retrieving your coffee and paper first thing in the morning. Or how about the secretary taking dictation?

Again the glory hole, ball cusp look. Good technique though

"And here is your news paper sir. Can I shine your shoes or polish your knob?"

The secretary reaching that point that all secretaries find, the point were they will accept NO MORE! The secretary makes a stand

Make sure when you work the poll you lick the tip.

The Michael Jackson comparisons are creepy, yet true

Workin 9 to 5 to the beat of my own drum....

Waiting on the World to Change (The Flat Iron)

The flat iron was pulled out for the Hair to get this look. Not bad, surely sexy. Makes me feel weird really. Must remember that Sanjaya is a man/boy, not a ladyboy. No Ting-Tong or Tong-Ting's here!

Rocking the Hair Iron Look, the color is shown to its fullest and the flexibility of his locks begin to show.

If I didnt know better, Id say that the Hair was forcing him to throw up gang signs

I see Annie. Anyone else?

And here we see the Punky Brewster

Those beautiful bangs....

Look at the layers and admire the color.

Steppin Out With My Baby (The Fedora)

The Hair was hidden this week. We hear rumors of a conspiracy to get Sanjaya off of the show, but the Hair proved to be more magical than first anticipated. We highly expect that the Hair has now built up enough power to overrule any hates that are thrown its way.

Anyway, the fedora look was, well, different and creepy, but we have seen worse things while laying under Jim Norton's glass coffee table.

Showing off that Hula-Hooper body of his, but sadly hiding the one thing that we are all here to see, the Hair

If you dont grab from the underneath, it just doesnt feel right.

Forgot the words. Probably because the magic supplied by the Hair was being blocked by the fedora

Hardly hitting the high notes. Shame really.

Ta-da. I should sing in the rain

Finally, the Hair makes an appearance!

Knocks Me Off Of My Feetv (A Bit Poofy)

The posts will now be titled, and thus organized, by the name of the song that Sanjaya, owner and wearer of the Hair, has sung. Here is his first top 24 song. As you can see, the Hair is just in the beginning stages of it's separation into being its own entity.

This is his first Top 24 style. He is still a bit shy, but the curls show progress over his previous bowl/ear muff style he rocked in his audition

Make sure the cusp the balls and blow gently on his.... yeah, that.

Are we looking at Charlie's next Angel? Patrice O'neal?

Work the pole

Laughin' like a hyena

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Original Original Hair of Sanjaya

Here it is, where it all began. Every myth has its starting point, and our mythical god started here. Ok, fair enough, it had 17 years to age and mature to get to this point, but the Hair has arrived on the scene; it has had it's debutant ball, it's coming out party, and we have the video proof.

Enjoy: the curtains are drawn back and the Hair of Sanjaya appears:

Another option for the name of this site, one which was thrown around, and around, and around, was boobsofshamali--------->

See what Im talking about:

Good lord, look at em bounce! Im having serious second thoughts about not doing the page boobsofshamali. I offer it to anyone to take, and please, make it all it can be!

Just in case you missed it, here is a, uh, closer shot:

Sure a short digression, but a necessary one, so you know where we, here at Hair of Sanjaya, are coming from. As you can see, Sanjaya had a much shorter and less touched hair cut, but that is to be expected. He has since had time to grow out his hair, which allows him to conquer those mystical styles he currently attempts.

Ok, fine, this is the original Hair of Sanjaya. As you can see, it is short, but there is promise in those follicles:

Starvation for Sanjaya

People are starving themselves until Sanjaya get's voted off. Some of them should hope that Sanjaya stays on American Idol for years:

For the hungry children in Africa, please

He may lose weight, but that wont change his ninja turtle shirt (dont worry guy, I geeeeet it).

Sanjaya, Time to Go..... We completely disagree with the statements held by the creators of this animation, but felt it necessary to provide all sides of the Sanjaya argument.

Who is Sanjaya?

We here at Hair of Sanjaya do not feel that it is our place to tell you about Sanjaya. Ask yourself, who REALLY is Sanjaya? What is Sanjaya? Can you answer these questions? We cant.

There are some who think they know the true Sanjaya. Here are some links to follow to learn something about the myth. Remember, however, that these links provide little to no information on the Hair of Sanjaya. This site remains the first and last site you will need for all the news relating to the Hair of Sanjaya. Anyway, here are the links:

American Idol Sanjaya Page


Sanjaya Fans

Sanjaya on YouTube (Original AI Try Out, Yay!

Howard Stern pretty much claims to being the driving force behind Sanjaya's success. We say bullox. We know it is because of the Hair of Sanjaya! By the way, why are you still listening to Stern? There needs to be more Opie and Anthony love.

Vote for the Worst Sure, why not....

Why Hair of Sanjaya?

Well, honestly, why not? I mean it was either this, chin of Sundance, or Chris Sligh is the Hulk; my options were severely limited. Please keep in mind that this is not intended to endorse or slight the magic that has become Sanjaya. We hope that he stays around on American Idol for as long as possible, but will never cast a vote for him (or for any other contestant for that matter, no matter how ambiguous the singer, even if his or her hair is done proper and tie tied tiddy).

We are here to celebrate the wonder that is Sanjaya's hair. I mean, seriously, it has taken on a life of it's own and deserves the proper respect. These pages are dedicated to Sanjaya's hair, and thus begins to give it its just due.